Zhan [2:20 PM]:
tell me tales about your pu
Trots [2:21 PM]:
yay!
Trots [2:21 PM]:
ok
Trots [2:21 PM]:
so i was chillin on the throne
Trots [2:21 PM]:
reading my book
Trots [2:21 PM]:
and things felt rather...cramped
Trots [2:21 PM]:
as if my bootay were a fine bottle of champagne and my pu a cork
Zhan [2:22 PM]:
well said, well said
Trots [2:22 PM]:
so i put down my book and concentrated REAL hard
Trots [2:22 PM]:
and grumped and sweated
Trots [2:22 PM]:
and gave birth to a single pu that was about 3 inches in diameter
Trots [2:23 PM]:
it was like the size of my wrist around
Zhan [2:23 PM]:
that's pretty damn amazing.
Trots [2:23 PM]:
i know
Zhan [2:23 PM]:
You sound ready to pay off your debt to the bf
Trots [2:23 PM]:
well, ive certainly cleared the path
Zhan [2:23 PM]:
I hope you took a pic
Trots [2:23 PM]:
dewd, i really almost did!!!
Trots [2:23 PM]:
but i thought, ew, thats kinda gross
Trots [2:24 PM]:
so i've decided to instead draw a rendering for you with Paint
Zhan [2:24 PM]:
Cool!
Trots [2:25 PM]:
as you can see...the large end came out first
Trots [2:25 PM]:
then, i was left with a tiny little nub at the end
Trots [2:25 PM]:
like a bow


Zhan [2:26 PM]:
wow. That's seriously weird
Trots [2:26 PM]:
it was amazing
Zhan [2:26 PM]:
smell?
Trots [2:26 PM]:
kinda earthy
Trots [2:26 PM]:
like a dirt basement
Zhan [2:27 PM]:
splashback?
Trots [2:27 PM]:
none
Zhan [2:27 PM]:
that's good
Trots [2:27 PM]:
it came out all slow-like
Trots [2:27 PM]:
it was terrifying! but awesome
Trots [2:28 PM]:
it was the weird tag on the end that rocked my mind the most
Trots [2:28 PM]:
i mean, you'd think it would be the sheer mass of it, but no
Zhan [2:28 PM]:
pain?
Trots [2:28 PM]:
yeah, like getting it started was tough and hurt my bungfrisk a bit
Trots [2:29 PM]:
ha ha! nice smiley on it
Zhan [2:29 PM]:
It was a happy pooh
Trots [2:30 PM]:
it was!
Trots [2:30 PM]:
im glad i was able to share this tale with you, zhanny
Zhan [2:30 PM]:
me too
Trots [2:30 PM]:
its a tru sign of friendship when one can tell pu stories in such detail
Trots [2:34 PM]:
lol!
Trots [2:34 PM]:
my bung looks like a pewbmonster!
Zhan [2:34 PM]:
Yeah, it's pretty nasty
Zhan [2:35 PM]:
after dropping that fellow
Trots [2:35 PM]:
like a labrador retriever
Zhan [2:35 PM]:
like a furry soccer ball
Trots [2:36 PM]:
lol!

The Splash Back

Trots [2:37 PM]:
so i just had a surprise pu
Trots [2:37 PM]:
which should have been a joyous occassion...
Zhan [2:38 PM]:
did someone come in?
Trots [2:38 PM]:
but i had a disastrous run in with The Splash Back
Zhan [2:38 PM]:
wow, that'll wake you up
Trots [2:38 PM]:
its so much worse than just regular Splash Back tho
Trots [2:38 PM]:
it nailed me RIGHT in the vajayjay
Zhan [2:39 PM]:
hahahahaha!
Trots [2:39 PM]:
i just try to keep my sanctuary clean and isolated
Zhan [2:39 PM]:
That's the best thing I've heard all day
Trots [2:39 PM]:
and here i go just splashing 30 peoples worth of hizz right into it
Trots [2:39 PM]:
so now i totally am gonna get a yeast and prolly the hiv
Zhan [2:40 PM]:
I'm sure it didn't get that far up in your bidniss
Trots [2:40 PM]:
the entrance of the cave is far enough
Trots [2:40 PM]:
my cewch would weep if it could
Zhan [2:40 PM]:
Get an alcohol wipe from the first aid kid. Get a good scrub on it
Trots [2:41 PM]:
i dunno if thats a good idear either
Trots [2:41 PM]:
i wanna scrub it with soap and then wrap it up and put it in a closet that nothing like this can happen again!
Zhan [2:41 PM]:
Ask Rile to blow on it
Trots [2:42 PM]:
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Trots [2:42 PM]:
he'd fall in!
Zhan [2:43 PM]:
Then you'd be in trouble
Trots [2:43 PM]:
as would he
Trots [2:44 PM]:
he'd drown in there
Trots [2:47 PM]:
my chacha is SO depressed now
Zhan [2:47 PM]:
wring it out
Trots [2:48 PM]:
couldnt i log this as sick time? "must go home to loofah pu water from nethers"
Zhan [2:49 PM]:
You need to put that on a t-shirt
Trots [2:49 PM]:
3574
Zhan [2:49 PM]:
ok

Brown Eye Orchestra

Trots [12:55 PM]:
dewd...wtf
Zhan [12:55 PM]:
huhwhat?
Trots [12:55 PM]:
do i really have to work with effing whatsherface?!?!
Zhan [12:55 PM]:
dunno, why?
Trots [12:56 PM]:
cuz i hate her @ss
Trots [12:56 PM]:
shes a man, baby
Trots [12:56 PM]:
like, a hulking dumb man
Zhan [12:56 PM]:
stupid males
Trots [12:56 PM]:
no, males are kewl...just not retardo shemales who cant do their jobs
Zhan [12:57 PM]:
You should do a dance off
Trots [12:57 PM]:
werd
Trots [12:58 PM]:
but man, check it: she wanted me to publish an article but neglected to send any info to me on what it was or which chapter it should be in
Trots [12:58 PM]:
which first of all, i dont actually publish, b!tch, and second, what am i supposed to do, read your MOLE MIND to figure out where you want it to go?!
Trots [12:59 PM]:
it was like talking to a mongaloid
Trots [12:59 PM]:
like shenick
Trots [12:59 PM]:
so now we have shenick and shemale
Zhan [1:00 PM]:
They're taking over.
Trots [1:00 PM]:
dear gawd
Trots [1:00 PM]:
what will we do?!
Trots [1:00 PM]:
anywho, how was your morning pu?
Trots [1:01 PM]:
was it a resounding success?
Trots [1:01 PM]:
did you command applause from those in the stalls around you?
Zhan [1:02 PM]:
It was righteous. Freeing
Trots [1:02 PM]:
brava!
Zhan [1:02 PM]:
lots of gas, which is always a welcomed treat
Trots [1:03 PM]:
like an orchestra!
Zhan [1:03 PM]:
the Brown Eye Orchestra
Trots [1:03 PM]:
brilliant!!!

Morning Pu Tips

Trots [10:51 AM]:
zhante
Zhan [10:51 AM]:
sup
Zhan [10:51 AM]:
per
Zhan [10:55 AM]:
I'm gonna do a morning pu.
Trots [10:55 AM]:
woo hoo!
Zhan [10:55 AM]:
Any tips?
Trots [10:55 AM]:
hmm...i'd say tetris and steady breathing
Trots [10:55 AM]:
perhaps some deep knew bends to prepare
Zhan [10:55 AM]:
ok.
Trots [10:55 AM]:
dewd, i totally had a midnight pu
Trots [10:55 AM]:
one that woke me up!!!
Trots [10:56 AM]:
it was crazy
Zhan [10:56 AM]:
wow.
Trots [10:56 AM]:
so now i dont have to this morning...
Zhan [10:56 AM]:
that's hard core.
Trots [10:56 AM]:
i know
Trots [10:56 AM]:
i am hardcore
Zhan [10:56 AM]:
Can't hold it no mo!

Bald

Zhan [10:48 AM]:
Alec Baldwin
Trots [10:48 AM]:
wha?
Zhan [10:48 AM]:
Do you like alec?
Trots [10:49 AM]:
hes ok
Trots [10:49 AM]:
i think hes a funny actor
Trots [10:49 AM]:
but as a person,he seems kinda d.baggy
Zhan [10:49 AM]:
EFF YOU THEN

[session ended]

[session begun]

Trots [10:49 AM]:
uhh. like the anti war stuff...
Trots [10:49 AM]:

Zhan [10:49 AM]:
oh.
Trots [10:49 AM]:
yeaaaaah.

Sorry, Wrong Number

Zhan [1:23 PM]:
I heart you
Trots [1:24 PM]:
eye heart ewe two
Zhan [1:24 PM]:
WHATEVER!!

[session ended]

[session begun]

Trots [1:24 PM]:
you amuse me with your dramatic window drops
Zhan [1:24 PM]:
It's so much fun
Trots [1:38 PM]:
hey, do i have dandruff?
Zhan [1:38 PM]:
Yeah, on your ash
Zhan [1:38 PM]:
buttdruff
Zhan [1:47 PM]:
why do you ask about dandruff?
Trots [1:48 PM]:
i worry about it irrationally
Zhan [1:49 PM]:
You should worry more about smelling like arse.
Trots [1:49 PM]:
likewise
Zhan [1:50 PM]:
It's like my trademark, tho
Trots [2:00 PM]:
speaking of...must pottay
Trots [2:12 PM]:
omg, i cant believe i dropped my phone on the bathroom floor!
Trots [2:12 PM]:
i disinfected so it smells like lysol now tho...
Zhan [2:13 PM]:
better than pu
Trots [2:13 PM]:
word
Trots [2:13 PM]:
did you just get a wrong numbah?
Zhan [2:13 PM]:
yeah
Zhan [2:13 PM]:
why?
Trots [2:13 PM]:
i heard ya
Trots [2:13 PM]:
sounded exciting
Zhan [2:14 PM]:
It was pretty hawt. Some chick asking about a house fo' sale on 75th.
Trots [2:14 PM]:
meow
Trots [2:14 PM]:
you shoulda told her to meet you there
Trots [2:14 PM]:
then broken in before she got there and reclined on the sofa all draped in velvet
Trots [2:14 PM]:
then made her feed you little smokies
Zhan [2:15 PM]:
Mmmm, go on
Trots [2:16 PM]:
and baked a pu casserole for her to eat
Zhan [2:18 PM]:
don't you hate it when you phart and instead of the phart air going up your arsecrack it goes up the front instead and you get a lip flappage?
Trots [2:18 PM]:
yeah. don't you?
Zhan [2:18 PM]:
it tickles

The British are Coming

Trots [2:21 PM]:
was that ned talking to the brits?!
Jake [2:22 PM]:
I couldn't tell!
Trots [2:22 PM]:
they were talking REALLY loud just now
Trots [2:22 PM]:
i figured ned was honing his faux british mimicry skillz
Jake [2:23 PM]:
so he was in there?
Trots [2:23 PM]:
could be...the accents were too thick for me to tell
Jake [2:24 PM]:
he probably asked them for Grey Poupon
Trots [2:24 PM]:
i bet he was arranging a game of cricket
Jake [2:25 PM]:
no i think he was playing 'Cha-rahhh-des'
Trots [2:26 PM]:
or possibly heading to the lift
Jake [2:28 PM]:
I believe he was sharing his family recipe for Shepherd's Pie
Trots [2:28 PM]:
i dunno. it may have been that he was avoiding the dentist...
Jake [2:29 PM]:
i think he was trying to keep up on the latest with Prince William and his tart
Trots [2:29 PM]:
i've got it! he was minding the gap!!!
Jake [2:29 PM]:
that's NASTAY!
Jake [2:29 PM]:
and that's it.
Trots [2:30 PM]:
hooray!!!
Jake [2:30 PM]:
hoorahhhh
Trots [2:30 PM]:
huzzah!