so dude…im in class with Latszki
Jake[9:22 AM]:
she's txting you. for what i'd like to know
Trots [9:23 AM]:
lunch stuff so far
Jake[9:23 AM]:
mufflunching
Trots [9:23 AM]:
but i cant wait to see where this goes over the weekend!
Jake[9:23 AM]:
WHAT
Jake[9:23 AM]:
you're hanging out over the weekend?!? this has gotten serious
Trots [9:24 AM]:
no no no!!!!!!!!!!
Trots [9:24 AM]:
omg, no
Trots [9:25 AM]:
im talking about how shes prolly gonna send me text messages this weekend or something grodie like that
Trots [9:25 AM]:
eek
Jake[9:27 AM]:
i can't believe you gave her your #
Jake[9:27 AM]:
that's hilarious
Trots [9:28 AM]:
i was in fear for my life, jake!!! i panicked and didnt know what to do. i saw my pitiful life flash before my eyes
Jake[9:28 AM]:
you're asking for trouble -- or at least highly inappropriate texts in the middle of the night
Trots [9:29 AM]:
this is like a horror movie
Jake[9:29 AM]:
ha she's totally going to be drunkdialing you
Trots [9:29 AM]:
where a gross troll stalks and eventually mutilates me
Jake[9:29 AM]:
Single White Female
Jake[9:31 AM]:
i'm worred, trots
Jake[9:31 AM]:
don't walk alone to your car
Jake[9:31 AM]:
you may be attacked by a beaver
Jake[9:32 AM]:
what repels?
Jake[9:32 AM]:
bacon grease!!
Jake[9:32 AM]:
she'll never come near you if you smear yourself with bacon
Trots [9:32 AM]:
AAAahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Trots [9:33 AM]:
i must get to the grocery store NOW
Trots [9:33 AM]:
(also, as a bonus, the bf will love the bacon fragrance)
Jake[9:34 AM]:
we may have stumbled onto a masterful marketing plan
Jake[9:34 AM]:
Bacon:
attracts men,
repels boho pseudolez vegans
Trots [9:34 AM]:
we should at least create a bacon flavored perfume - eau de hogfat
Trots [9:35 AM]:
what if she really propositions me?
Trots [9:35 AM]:
should i just stab a stiletto through her forehead and flee?
Jake[9:36 AM]:
i think you should tell her that you love bacon, and it would never work out
Trots [9:37 AM]:
should i whip out my fur russian hunter hat and shake it at her? then kick her with my leather shoes?
Jake[9:38 AM]:
the fur hat my send the wrong message
Trots [9:38 AM]:
good point
Jake[9:38 AM]:
but it would mesmerize her long enough to make a clean getaway
Trots [9:38 AM]:
and if she spattered it with paint, id have to kill her @ss
Jake[9:39 AM]:
she might defile it
Jake[9:39 AM]:
but not with paint
Trots [9:40 AM]:
omg, i just died inside
Trots [9:40 AM]:
and went frigid
Jake[9:40 AM]:
that's what i'm here for
Trots [9:42 AM]:
my vajayjay just sealed itself permanently
Jake[9:42 AM]:
you could tell her that too
Trots [9:42 AM]:
and now im in the fetal position and sucking my thumb
Trots [9:42 AM]:
but hey, thats not a bad plan...
Jake[9:42 AM]:
tell her you had it surgically removed for just such an occasion
Trots [9:44 AM]:
id tell her i had a pen15 but evidently, that wont throw her off either
Jake[9:45 AM]:
you're right scratch that. the whole line of questioning could turn down a bad road at that point.
Trots [9:45 AM]:
what if i told her i have syphigonnachlamhiv?
Jake[9:46 AM]:
i think she'd just say "Me too!"
Trots [9:47 AM]:
rats. ok, its back to the bacon then
Jake[9:52 AM] sends:
Trots [9:52 AM]:
SO HAWT
Trots [9:52 AM]:
ill be unstoppable in that, yo
Trots [9:52 AM]:
i think we should make a deal with farmland and trademark the idea
Jake[9:52 AM]:
you'd be like a baco-licious superhero
Jake[9:53 AM]:
for all targetted str8 girrls
Trots [9:53 AM]:
i'm baco-licious, but, i aint promiscuous but if you was suspicious, all that shat is fictitious...
Jake[9:56 AM]:
dang, i forgot the fur hat
Trots [9:57 AM]:
make it so, number one
Jake[9:58 AM]:
dang i can't just add it i have to redraw it
Trots [9:58 AM]:
ill squint really hard and spin around in my chair then look at it
Trots [9:58 AM]:
im sure it will look like its there then
Jake[9:59 AM] sends:
Trots [9:59 AM]:
Uber HAWT
Jake[10:00 AM]:
it kinda looks like pewp, but you get the idea
Trots [10:00 AM]:
youre so awesome
Jake[10:03 AM]:
thanks trotsie - should you need any other renderings of your superhero tools let me know
Trots [10:03 AM]:
i may need a cattle prod weapon eventually…
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